Honestly, I donâ€™t have a witty introduction for you this week.Â The upside is that they generally arenâ€™t that good to begin with.Â Iâ€™m not going to even fake it.Â Letâ€™s talk about some stories.
The health inspector scam has spread to North Carolina.Â Now they have some interesting ideas on why this scam is happening.Â If you have been following this story, this will help put together the missing pieces.Â (Jackson, NC)
A homeless man riding a bike carrying a recycling bin full of pork chops late at night would get me attention.Â It grabbed this police officers attention too.Â Unfortunately, it did not grab enough of his attention.Â File this one under really bad police work. (Fort Pierce, FL)
College kids go into McDonalds to get food.Â They are given dog biscuits mixed in with their food.Â Oddly enough, they were able to tell the difference. (Westfield, MA)
If someone orders over 150 pizzas from your shop, you should get payment in advance.Â This even applies if the person is wearing a backstage pass to a Bob Dylan show.Â So many punch lines here, but I think my favorite is â€œHow does it feel? To be out some dough.Â With no working phone.Â Credit card a complete unknown.Â With pizza cold as stone.â€ (Amherst, MA)
It is a bad idea to rob people.Â Especially when you do not know whom the person is you are robbing.Â I think the winner of the unlucky lottery in this category has to be the guy who robs the sheriffâ€™s wife.Â (West Memphis, AR)
The ability to add open modifiers to tickets made working in a restaurant much easier.Â It sure beats memorizing numbers to enter modifiers.Â Some ticket customizations are sure to get you fired though.Â This is one of them.Â (Los Angeles, CA)
I have written in the past about cities with ridiculous zoning and licensing laws.Â Sometimes they do serve a purpose though.Â Looking over the rap sheet for this restaurant makes me think that they need more than their liquor license suspended.Â (Washington County, CA)
This week I do not have a story to report out of South Carolina about â€œThe Great Chinese Restaurant Robbery Spree of 2010.â€Â Â I do have reason for hope though.Â Police in Kentucky have arrested a man for robbing 16 restaurants.Â Can we please send these detectives to South Carolina for a bit.Â (Lexington, KY)
Iâ€™m sure a few of you have had thoughts of stabbing a coworker.Â You probably were reluctant because you did not know how much time you would get.Â Well now you have an answer.Â (Hartford, CT)
As reported on Monday, restaurants will soon have to list the calorie counts of their offerings on the menu.Â Apparently they also need to post instructions on how to eat the food.Â A doctor is suing Houstons because he ate an entire artichoke.Â I try not to give advice to doctors, but he should also avoid eating lobsters, crab legs, and oysters.Â (Miami, FL)
This weekâ€™s Chef Justus Award for the restaurant hero could have gone to any number of restaurants that gave away free food on Thanksgiving.Â I think one man took it a step further.Â That man was Jon Bon Jovi.Â He runs a pretty good charitable concept year round.Â I am always a fan of people using their celebrity for good.Â This one fits the bill.Â (Red Bank, NJ)
The soon to be renamed restaurant jerk award goes to the owner of Plaza Garibaldi Restaurant in Jackson Heights, Queens.Â Taking advantage of a worker and making him work 72 hours a week for $600 is bad enough.Â Only paying him half that makes you an award winner.Â Fortunately, this story has a happy ending.Â (Queens, NY)
Time for the scoreboard.
This week the world comes up with a strange tale from Thailand.Â A restaurant owner gets up from dinner with friends to shoot his sister in law and then himself.Â For proving that restaurant managers are slightly nuts wherever they come from I am giving the points to the world.Â USA: 8 World:6.
No witty conclusion either.Â Thankfully I have enough posts prewritten to hopefully ride out this funk and writerâ€™s block.