Top Ten Songs About Waitresses

In all fairness, I spend a lot of time writing posts that share valuable information about how to make more money as a server.  This is not one of those posts.  Instead today I am in a bit of a celebratory mood.  Last week, this blog finally broke the 1000 views in a week mark.  Maybe not the biggest milestone on the internet, but dang it I am happy about it.  Thank you to all of my readers both new and old.  I think a little present is in order.

Last night on the way home from a concert, I was listening to The Replacements when “Waitress in the Sky” came on.  Suddenly a light bulb went off.  To thank all of you who read this blog and have stuck with me through some less than exciting posts, I decided to compile a list of the greatest songs about restaurants.  Then I realized that is a very large list of songs and much deliberation is needed to narrow it down to just ten.  I decided to refocus the list to a narrower topic: Waitresses.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how to flirt with your waitress.  I left off the idea of writing a song for her.  That is the inspiration for several songs on the list.  Waitresses with wicked senses of humor wrote others on this list.  A third category is songs where the waitress is the heroine.  I sought some help from coworkers and Facebook friends who provided some great ideas.  After listening to no less than 50 songs about being a waitress today I decided to eliminate the overplayed (Human League, Bon Jovi, Looking Glass, etc) and those I didn’t think were kind to waitresses (Live, Fountains of Wayne, Atmosphere, Timbaland, et al).  I also decided to rank them myself, because unranked lists are a cop out.  I also tried to make sure I included a variety of genres.

Here is how I rank them:

10) Kim the Waitress: Waitress as both heroine and muse wins Material Issue the coveted number 10 spot.

9) The Prettiest Waitress in Memphis: Cory Branan with another ode to a waitress that reminds us why some people really go to restaurants.

8 ) The Waitress: State Radio leaves it to your imagination exactly what this waitress is doing, but I think the same thought has crossed a few of my coworkers’ minds over the years.

7) Angelina: If you ever worked in an Italian restaurant, you know this Louis Prima classic.  Bordering on overplayed, but as timeless an ode to waitresses as you can find.

6) Compliments of Your Waitress: Maybe not as dark as State Radio’s entry, but Chumbawumba has their own tale of waitress revenge.  Yes, it is that Chumbawumba.

5) Nickled and Dimed: From the movie “The American Ruling Class” a hard look at the struggles of working people and servers in particular.

4) The Waitress Song: Seth Sentry gives us more rhythm and Aussie-ness in his take on the prettiest waitress from the other side of the other pond.

And Now The Top Three Songs About Waitresses……

3) Waitress in the Sky: Minnesota gave us Tom Emmer, but I forgive them because they also gave us The Replacements.  The quintessential alt rock band of the 80s writes a song about Waitresses, it makes the top three.

2) Waitress: Tech N9ne writes about being in the undesirable position of getting caught checking out the waitress.  I might be receiving a few gripes about this rating.  Let me say this in my defense.  Tech is the guests that every server at my restaurant wants to wait on.  He comes in regularly and is about the nicest and coolest guy you would ever want to wait on.  When anyone else on this list comes into my restaurant and tips like he does, they can move up the list too.

1) A Better Place To Be: Harry Chapin is a personal hero and role model.  His finest song features a waitress as heroine, victim, predator, or prey depending on your point of view.

I hope this list was entertaining as well as a bit controversial.  Agree?  Disagree?  Who did I leave out?  The comment section is all yours.

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8 comments on “Top Ten Songs About Waitresses

  1. pure genius!

  2. teleburst on said:

    You missed the greatest one of all – Brass In Pocket by Pretenders. It’s a great video as well:

  3. Pingback: The Index « Tips on improving your Tips

  4. Blue Bear on said:

    Seth Sentry is an Aussie hip hop artist…

  5. Pingback: The Index | Restaurant Laughs

  6. Pingback: A Few More Thoughts On Emmer | Tips For Improving Your Tips

  7. What about Kasey Musgraves – Blowin’ Smoke?

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