I often wonder aloud why there are so many sequels. There have to be more great stories to tell than the stories that have already been told. It seems that every successful movie becomes a franchise and is followed up by three more sequels that aren’t as good as the original. If you liked the original Waiting, you will love Waiting 8: The Revenge of the Bus Boys. Andy Milonakis is still available right?
At the same time, when you find a formula that works, you stick with it. My last Random Thoughts post became the most shared post ever on this blog. I was slightly overwhelmed. I apparently am pretty bad at predicting what posts are going to be popular. I thought that yesterday’s post on how groupons are hurting independent restaurants would be huge. I was wrong on that one. So it’s time to go back to what works and yet another assortment of random thoughts from a server.
If you think wine costs too much at restaurants, ask for the price of having the chef, server, and musicians come to the liquor store and serve you the meal there.
Crème Brule is the most boring dessert ever. Every time I offer a dessert menu and someone says, “Do you have crème brule?” I know why so many great restaurants fail and are replaced by mediocre chains.
The more expensive the wine key, the shorter the time I will have it before losing it.
I always ask guests if they want cream with their coffee. No matter how many times I do this, I always forget the answer and bring them cream anyway.
Hyper jealous boyfriends who feel I am checking out their date usually think much more highly of their date than I do.
Ladies who will ask for a different knife because it has a water spot on it are often the ones who will drop multiple lemon slices in their water. Pro tip: one of these things has been sanitized in 180 degree water and it is not that lemon peel.
A table is a square, rectangular, or round piece of furniture where your food and drinks sit while you consume your meal. If you ask for separate checks, this does not invalidate the portion of the coupon that says, “One per table.”
If your drink order is more than 15 words, the price should double. I don’t care how they make an Aviator at some bar you read about in a magazine. If you are that particular about your cocktails, I recommend drinking a beer.
I had a table ask me if our crab cakes had large chunks of crab. I explained that it would fall apart if they did. They asked if Gordon Ramsey would approve of them. I replied, “not in the first half of his show, but in the second half he would.”
I stopped drinking over five years ago. I have drank countless beers out of plastic cups, pint glasses, and large mugs. Judging from the 37 different types of beer glasses that bars now carry, I apparently was doing it wrong all along.
Why do most complaints on Yelp not include the manager’s reply when they brought the complaint to their attention? Is it really more fun to complain on Yelp than to have the problem fixed?
Every server watches the movie Waiting and thinks they are either the Ryan Reynolds or Justin Long character. I have accepted that in reality I am probably the guy who can’t pee at the restaurant. The good news is that I was in the sequel. The bad news is that it is because I am the only one who is not a star.
It has been a long time since I worked at a restaurant that served a family meal at the beginning of the shift. I never really appreciated it when it was an everyday occurrence.
The 15 minutes you took to order. The appetizer you ate leisurely before your salads. The well done filet you sent back to have cooked more. The 3 minutes it took me to get the groupon taken off (that you didn’t mention having until the end of the meal) and run your credit card. All of these made your meal take longer. Three of the four were optional. The fourth is not the reason you are now late.
The more I wait on people with “real jobs” on their lunch breaks, the less I want one.
Two guests were sitting at a table for four. Two of the seats were at a booth and the other two were chairs. They both sat on the booth side. The lady complained that the booth was too soft and asked if we had anything with a hard back. I suggested the chairs. She said she preferred a booth. We had reached an impasse.
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